During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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