Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
