he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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