so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
