he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
