You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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