Can Purell be used as lube?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
