So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
