We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
