i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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