I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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