I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
