can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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