I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
