Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
