Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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