I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
