spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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