you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
