i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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