hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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