This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
