I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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