Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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