you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
