you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
