Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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