this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
