but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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