we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
