I am puke
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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