You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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