all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
