i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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