glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I want to have your abortion
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
