Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
