i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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