Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Panties = found
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
