that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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