Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Where is the hickey?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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