Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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