quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
