halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
