i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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