dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
