I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
