It's Friday. Sex?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
