summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
