tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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