i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
