my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
