Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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