PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
