I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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