As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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